Occasional Pieces from a Queer Buddhist Social Justice Warrior and Loud Mouth Book Collector
Yet to find a SINGLE member of a hate group that isn't lashing out from their own personal pain. This is why, to the annoyance of many, I talk to EVERYBODY instead of just blanket grouping folks into good guys and bad. I know, I know. But I have the time to do it when you do not. You keep fighting your way. I'll keep happy warrioring over here. Nobody is born evil. And nothing made can't be unmade. Nothing lasts forever. Not even hate. Hate is a flash fire. Remove it from its fuel and it burns out quick... Which allows you to survey the land, see the damage, help with regrowth and rebuilds.
The argument has ALWAYS been made that the news is always so miserable because that it is what sells... Crime, corruption, atavism, fear. The scandals sell papers. Spending a rare morning sipping coffee and flipping through the news. There is no new information being relayed... Just an undercurrent of dread and rage and anger. It is the way it is. The way it always was.
Yea, but like all things, money got involved and we took it way too far.
I've always been a proponent of learn global, fight local but today I'm nursing a new kind of thought in my head. Taking a daily bath in this voyeuristic sludge can't be doing any of us any good. You don't need to take on EVERY battle and (cheap internet) "feel" for every victim.
A little experiment for me for August before I get pulled screaming into the muck of the election in the fall. One news magazine on weekends: when time has passed and full story is known and not the hysteria coverage provides by twitter because in crisis people are terrible at separating fact from emotional response.
I am curious to how many dings my armour takes from the daily panic (give it cocaine and it'd easily be Orwell's Daily Hate) of the news media. So much anxiety over things ultimately beyond our control and day to day concern. So, yea. August. Grounded. An NPR newscast in the morning to make sure no one started armaggedon while I slept and a weekly deepish dive via Newsweek or something. My time, energy and mind and going to be focused locally. My family, neighbours, coworkers, friends, people I see every day who I can connect with about here and now instead of the smoke images of media driven anxiety.
Just curious about what'll happen if I cut down on the "Garbage In".
A Million of Me Have Been. A Million of Me Will Be. So Chill the Fuck Out
There is no quicker route to sadness and depression than trying to live up to other people's expectations of you, someone else's definition of what your life should be and where you should be standing by now according to the arbitrary rules set down by... What? The conventions if a capitalist society that uses debt to enslave EVERYBODY and allows such monstrocities as school lunch accounts, begging for medical aid from strangers online through Go Fund Me, twenty percent vacancy rates on downtown condos running parallel to an affordable housing shortage, northern towns starved of water that we've sold off to corporations being sold water by the government provided they pay up front.
Late stage capitalism if you step back, take a breath and LOOK at it is nothing short of abuse of the many at the hands of the very few. Like a lot of things: a very good idea corrupted by wrong thinking and unjust actions.
For two days I've been sleepless because I kept thinking about my tiny little slot in the system. How I no longer fit. How, by societal expectations I am on all levels, a failure. How easily it is for others to describe me in derogatory terms. In short, depressed and making myself miserable because instead of practising compassion for others I was trying to see myself through "societal standard's" eye which, let's be honest, is a subconsciously agreed upon illusion: the backdrop to the play that is up-work-home-tv-sleep.
Moody in other words. For ridiculous reasons: the imaginary views others might hold because of a world system that doesn't really exist but we all submit blindly to despite it's insane inequality and injustice.
There is no quicker road to sadness.
I wrote this paraphrase of borrowed zen yesterday to a friend and only, just now, came to realize why it was on my mind:
A million me-s have come and gone. A million more will come and go. This version, this strange variant in the unexpected spin off is new, strange, but compelling and interesting all the same. Change doesn't exist. Not really. It is a concept that we use to terrify ourselves. But if you are not spending your life struggling with the chains to your past or all your imagination fantasizing about a future it doesn't really exist. Eat the food on the plate in front of you.
I'm possibly delirious from lack of sleep. This ME has lost the thread.
Stop trying to compete with the world. Stop trying to imagine what others think/say about you. You've lived a billion moments. You'll live a billion more. Each was a life in itself full of all the beauty, wonder, life, hope, potential of the universe itself. Stop wasting this life thinking about old ones or the next ones. Just enjoy this one. All the beauty, wonder, hope, potential of the universe itself. In this life. This moment. Just allow yourself to be here.
It is wonderful.
No matter how painful, or uncomfortable, or jaded your head makes it.